Should We Stop This Here?
- annaknieriem
- Mar 23
- 4 min read
There is a moment I remember very clearly.
In a meeting where we were discussing how to move forward, my client said something I had already known for a while. His co-managing director would stay. There was no option to override him. No realistic chance that the situation would change.
In that moment, everything was clear.
Two managing directors. One with a clear vision, a willingness to truly engage with change, and the courage to go through discomfort. The other not malicious, not actively sabotaging, but fundamentally different in priorities. A different view of what the company needed. A different willingness to reflect on his own role in the process.
Organizational culture change does not require full agreement. But it does require a minimum level of alignment at the top.
That alignment was missing. And it was not going to emerge.
I knew that in this meeting.
And I continued anyway.
What I Told Myself
I had gotten to know the people in this organization. I knew what was at stake, not in abstract terms but concretely. Names, faces, situations. People who were struggling with the paralysis that arises when leadership pulls in different directions.
I told myself that something might shift. That maybe one more workshop could make a difference. That perhaps a different format or another intervention in the leadership development process could unlock something.
This was not optimism.
It was self-deception.
What actually kept me in the project was something else. I did not want to give up on this one managing director. He trusted me. He genuinely wanted change. He was willing to go through a demanding transformation process. He understood the purpose and the cost of it.
Clients like that are rare.
Leaving the organization felt wrong.
So I stayed.
Who Eventually Pulled the Plug
It was not me.
He ended the collaboration. With a clear statement that he would have expected a more direct and explicit assessment from me. That the situation, as it stood, would not work.
He was right.
In that moment I understood what I had actually done. I had stayed because I believed I was needed. That I could somehow buffer the situation. That without me things would become worse.
Looking back, that was an overestimation of my role.
I should have said clearly: in this leadership constellation, real organizational transformation is not possible. I can stay, but not to drive meaningful change under these conditions.
That would have allowed him to make his own decision. Continue under these circumstances or not.
That decision was his to make.
Not mine.
Instead, he invested time, energy and budget into a consulting engagement that could not deliver what he had hoped for under those conditions.
That was my mistake.
Not his.
What I Do Differently Today
Today, I would address this much earlier.
I would clearly name the situation at the beginning: in this leadership constellation, sustainable change is unlikely. Not because the people involved are not capable, but because the structural conditions for change are missing.
And if these conditions cannot be created, there is only one honest option: to end the engagement.
Not eventually.
But at the moment it becomes clear.
This is not a question of courage. It is a question of responsibility in consulting and leadership.
The longer you stay in a system that cannot change, the more you lose exactly what you were brought in for. Not because you intervene too much, but because you start thinking from within the system.
And the moment you think from within, you lose the one thing that makes external consulting valuable: the ability to see the system from the outside.
That outside perspective is not just about expertise. It is about distance.
What This Looks Like in Practice
This is not just a theoretical reflection. It directly shapes how I work today.
In a recent initial conversation, a potential client approached me through a recommendation. The chemistry was strong, and she was eager to start. During the conversation it quickly became clear that the parent company had not yet been involved in the process. And that this was not a minor detail.
I explained, very clearly, what was at stake. That under these conditions I would not recommend starting a change process or leadership development initiative.
This was not what she wanted to hear.
But she appreciated the clarity.
She is now working on creating the necessary conditions first. And then she may come back. Or not.
In another project, I spoke directly with a senior leader. If we wanted real organizational change, we would need to address fundamental dynamics within the leadership team. This would not be a comfortable process. It would require time, attention and commitment. Not only from him, but from the entire leadership team.
He was not ready for that.
And he said so.
We ended the project.
One year later he reached out again.
This time he was ready.
The Real Question in Organizational Transformation
All of this became possible because I failed before. And because I was willing to reflect on that failure.
There is a question that is rarely asked explicitly in change management and leadership development processes.
Most conversations focus on how to move forward.
The more important question is often a different one.
Should we move forward at all?
What This Means for You
If you are working with an external consultant in organizational transformation or leadership development, there are a few signals to pay attention to.
Does the consultant clearly state what conditions are required for success? Do they also name the conditions under which the engagement does not make sense?
Do they build in explicit checkpoints where the question is asked: does it still make sense to continue?
And is it easy for you to exit the collaboration if the conditions for meaningful change are not in place?
These are not red flags.
They are signs of professional responsibility.
A consultant who stays even though they know the conditions are not right is not being loyal.
They are taking a decision away from you that should be yours.
The Uncomfortable Question
The most uncomfortable question in any transformation process is not how to continue. It is whether continuing makes sense at all.
Anna Knieriem
Founder and Managing Director
Changellence Consulting GmbH, Berlin
She supports leaders and organizations in organizational transformation, leadership alignment and sustainable change.
Comments